empowering young writers online

Camping Trip: Show Don’t Tell

by Anne
age 12

This is a writing assignment I did for school.
I was supposed to re-write this sentence into a paragraph that “shows not tells.”

Sentence: My camping trip was miserable because it rained all week.

My Paragraph:
Rain pelted the canvas tent.
I sat inside in the gloomy darkness shivering.
I pulled my fuzzy pink blanket tighter around my shoulders trying to squeeze every bit of warmth out of it.
As I laid back on the damp sleeping bag I let a lengthy sigh escape my lips, this was going to be a long week!!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud