empowering young writers online

Camping Trip: Show Don’t Tell

by Anne
age 12

This is a writing assignment I did for school.
I was supposed to re-write this sentence into a paragraph that “shows not tells.”

Sentence: My camping trip was miserable because it rained all week.

My Paragraph:
Rain pelted the canvas tent.
I sat inside in the gloomy darkness shivering.
I pulled my fuzzy pink blanket tighter around my shoulders trying to squeeze every bit of warmth out of it.
As I laid back on the damp sleeping bag I let a lengthy sigh escape my lips, this was going to be a long week!!


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