by Anne, age 12
Here is another assignment I did for school.
It is the same process as the last one but it is a different sentence.
Instructions: Turn this sentence into a paragraph that “shows not tells”
Before: Katie saw a scary sea creature at the aquarium.
After: Katie’s eyes expanded and tears pushed at her eyes.
In a dark corner of the aquarium, a sea creature lurked. Its long tentacles drooped over its bulging eyes. Fang-like teeth overlapped its lower lip giving the entire face a vampire air. In a sudden movement, the creature lurched towards the glass. Katie shrank back and clutched for her mother, “Take me away!!” she shrieked.