Chapter 1- Meet the Gang
Yo, I’m Mark. I’m a ninja. Clue in the title, no? I love hot dogs! I consider myself the leader of this here gang of Ninjas. Of course, Jeff (Stupid name, right? I hate him. He is also my best friend! Happy days.) would tell you otherwise! He’s the one with the stupid haircut. I have an excellent haircut. Remember that. Oh, wait, these are just words printed on the screen by Neve pressing numerous keys in a certain order that are recognised as words, and not pictures, so you will not be able to tell. Oh well.
Hey, I’m Jeff. BOW DOWN TO ME, MERE MORTALS!!!! FOR I AM LEADER OF THIS GANG!! (Told you so- Mark) Oh, shush Mark. No one likes you. (I do- Mark) EXCEPT YOURSELF! And we already talked about this, that doesn’t count!!! (It does- Mark) I don’t want to talk to you any more. I do not have a stupid haircut. (Yes you do- Mark.) …
What up dudes, its Luke. I’m da newest arrival and last human of the bunch! Yes, I know what you are thinking. Ninjas have to be humans, right? (Wrong- Mark & Jeff) Wrong. (I just said that- Jeff) So? (And me- Mark) IT DOESNT MATTER! (Yes it does, Luke. Don’t repeat what they said like a parrot- Neve) I wish I never joined this group. I didn’t sign up for this. (Actually, It says on the contract that..) I DONT CARE.
Ssssteve here. I’m a ssssnake. Yesssss, I know what you’re thinking… a ssssnake ninja? Preposssssterousssss, right? Wrong…. And desssspite what all thosssse sssstupid humanssss say, I am the leader of thisssss gang. (WHAT?!- Mark & Jeff) You heard me. Well, actually, you wouldn’t. You’re to ssstupid. And Neve, would you pleasssseee sssstop with the hisssssssing? Itssss very sssssteriotypical. Quite. (I don’t care. Itsss my writing. Wow, thissss hissssing is quite hard to get rid of, issnt it? Wow -Neve) Harrumph. (I think you are leader, Steve – Luke) Nice to know, only you don’t count. (YES I DO!)
Hey guys, its Neve. These characters have been eating hot dogs and arguing about leadership in my head forever, I think its time to introduce them to all write with me!
Chapter 2- Pasta and Pastimes
Part 1- Snakes don’t hiss and mints ride buses
Hey dudes, the Ninjaz are back and this time they are pointlessly rabbiting on about what they like to do in their suspiciously long spare time, and Steve is lecturing Luke and Mark in the delicate subject of pasta bakes while Mark is trying to learn to play badminton. Enjoy.
Mark: Yo, we are BACK! Guess what guys, I’ve been totally getting into badminton. It started when I saw this sign saying ‘Badminton Bus.’ I thought it said Bad Mint On Bus, so I ended up not catching the bus I wanted to ride. (But then I told him that it meant the bus also served as a Badminton hangout transport for pro players- Luke) I am a NATURAL at badminton! (Yeah, if a natural KICKS the… I don’t even know what the ball-net-hitty thing is called- Jeff) Hey, IT WAS YOU WHO TOLD ME TO DO THAT!!!! Seriously.
Steve: You sssstole my ssssaying. Ssssseriousssssly, Mark? And Neve, I thought I told you to lay back on the ssssstereotypical hissssssing!!!! Im gonna get angry!! Anyway, I’ve been teaching Luke and Mark about Passsssssta, as they do not know a thing about it except you eat it. Thank you, you sssstop…JEEZ!!!! SSS….. I cant say the word without hissi… ARGHHHHHHH! Oh, who caressss….. BLUBBLUGBBIHUARGHAGERAGERAGEANGRYSNAKERAGE
…. Okay, Im fine. (Um…. You sure, Steve?- Mark) SSSSEEE! YOU DONT DO SSSSTUPID HISSSSSING FOR THE HUMANSSSSS!!! UNFAIR!!!! (So, Steve, where does the pasta come from again? Was it Jamaica? I cant remember- Luke) ARGHHHHH!!!!
Chapter 2 Part 2- Seriously?
Luke: No, Steve, seriously. Oops. I stole your saying again. (You… DIDN’T… JUSSSST…. DO THAT- Steve) *Gulp* Erm… Nice Steve… Nice Stevie-Stevie… Good Snake… Who’s a good Snake? You ar- (RARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE ISSSS AGAINSSSSST ME! THE HISSSSSSSSSING, SSSSSAYING SSSSSSTEALERSSSS…. I jussst… Don’t know what to do anymore…. *Sob*-Steve) Oh… I’m sorry for your loss, Steve. But… Seriou- I mean, honestly… Where does that pasta come from?! The… Canadian Pasta. I forgot. (… ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT COMES FROM CANADA YOU IDIOTIC STICK NINJA!-Steve) Oh. You’d think it’d say on the packet…
Jeff: So, Mark. The badminton incident. Why exactly would a bus say, Bad Mint on Bus? Seriously. (ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHY WORLD WHY!!!!-Steve) Chill, Steve. Take a chill pill. Chillax. (DON’T TELL ME TO CHILLAX YOU LITTLE- STEVE) WOAH CALM DOWN DUDE! Anyway… Well Mark? Explanation Please. (Why? –Mark) BECAUSE IM THE LEADER. BOW DOWN TO ME. (Oh. Hmmmmm….. Nah.) NOW YOU DISOBEDIANT NINJA!!! (OK! You should take a chill pill of your own, Jeff! Well. You know how I hate Off Polo Mints?-Mark) Yeah….? (Well, I thought there was like a giant polo mint on there. A green one.) A green polo mint? (Yep.) ….. (Hey, you asked!!!)
Mark: Am I the only one who hates green polo mints?
Neve: Um. Mark. There ARE no green polo mints. You seriously thought so?
Steve: I should jussssst quit now.
Mark: Hey Steve, help me out here. Seriously, there are green polo mints, Neve.
Steve: Yep, I quit.
NO STEVE NO! I’m sorry Guys, Steve seems to have quit. Don’t worry, we can coax him back with some positive comments!!! Or constructive. Either way is fine.
The secret Life of Ninjaz- Chapter 4-
Evil is brewing
Hey guys. Yes, we are back. Tired of us yet? I didn’t think so. Ninjaz, say hi! …. NINJAZ! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU HOT-DOG SCOFFING MANIACS!? (One sec, just playing this game… I’m on the final lev—OH COME ON!!!- Mark) Ha. Serves you right for disobeying your boss. (Excuse me, Neve, I thought we…- Jeff) That’s EXACTLY what I thought, Jeff. Except I’m still leader. So just stop. Before I ban you from hot-dogs for a month. (You wouldn’t!- Jeff) OH YES I WOULD.
Fine! Fine. Just please, don’t ban me from hot-dogs. I don’t know what I’s do. Its pure evil. (Speaking of evil, I have somebody I need to introduce to you.-Neve) Please don’t let it be another Ninja. (Yessss! I can’t ssssstand anymore sssstupid ninjaz!- Steve) Hey! Stop being mean. everyone’s being mean to me today… (No more than you deserve. And no, it’s not a ninja. It’s a samurai.) WHAT?! (What… No… NEVERRRR!- All) Its unforgivable!
???- Hey ninja dumb-heads!
Steve- Finally, ssssomeone who readssss from the ssssame page.
Neve- Yeah…. This is Samurai D.
Luke- What’s the D stand for?
Samurai D- I see none of you stupidos have asked what the D stands for. Well….
Jeff- Is it… Dumb? Dunce? Dunderhead? Dumbo?
Samurai D- O.O WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT? IT STANDS FOR DYNAMIC!!
Mark- What does that mean?
Neve- You don’t need to know, Mark. Its ok.
Mark- Oh. Good. My vocabulary is limited to 200 words. Im on…. 78? *Shivers*
Steve- So, Ssssamurai. Why did you apply to thissss group? Itssss called ‘Sssssstick Ninjaz.’ Not Sssssamurai and Ninja Sssssticks.
Mark- Ninja Sticks? Is that a food?
Luke- I don’t think so Mark.
Samurai D- I’m going to be…. THE ANTAGONIST!
Mark- STOP USING FANCY WORDS!!!!
Samurai D- Make me.
Luke- Wow, he’s mean.
Steve- Yeah well, I’ll protect you guysssss.
Neve- I thought you quit. Why are you even here?
Steve- I ssssaw all the great commentsssss. Obviously all for me. Stick Ninjaz would never be the same without me. Thanks for the boost guys. Sorry to let you, and of course the readers, down!
Neve- Welcome back Steve!
Mark- YEAH! NOW HE CAN TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE HOTDOG PIZZA NOW!
Jeff- Aw snap. No more second in command for me.
Luke- Yeah, buddy!
Samurai D- Greetings again, stubborn snake with anger problems.
Jeff- I don’t need protecting FIRE HIM! HE HIT ME!
Neve- He has no fists.
Jeff- With his… Tail… thingy!!!!! Where’d you guys go?
And the Ninjaz are back! Are you ready for more laughs, cringes and AWESOME FIGHTING SCENES?
I knew you were!
Except there’s a lot.
So bear with me.
And I’m in it.
And my brother Finley.
Neve: Hi guys!
Jeff: *drops pizza that the group were “sharing”* Oh no I dropped “our” pizza!
Steve: Excusssse me?
Jeff: Correction: Steve’s pizza.
Steve: Thank you. Good ninja.
Mark: NEVE!!!! LUKES BEING MEAN!!!
Neve: Mark, eating a chip out of the fridge is not being mean.
Luke: *Eats bowl of chips* Mmmm.
Mark: NEVE!!!!! LUKES BEING EVEN MEANER!!!!
Samurai D: *Breaks through door* I CAME IN LIKE A DYNAMIC BALL!!!!!!
Steve: Look. Misssster Ssssamurai Dunce perssson. One, you can’t ssssing. Two, Look at the sssign on the door. It ssssaysss no sssinging.
Samurai D: it actually says no singing or we will attack with hotdogs and stuff. On the bottom it says no pigeons.
Neve: I put that. I hate those.
Mark: NO!! JEFF! DON’T WASTE THOSE PERFECTLY GOOD HOT-DOGS!!!! I hate that sign.
*Enter epic person*
Neve: Stop messing with the subtitles, Finley.
Steve: Oh hi, sssssecond creator of sssstick ninjaz.
All ninjaz: All hail Finley!
Finley: you got that right! Anyway I have come to give Mark a gift he won from the magazine stupid head weekly. A fridge with 100 hotdogs in it.
Mark: OH MY HOTDOG. I think I have tears in my eyes.
Steve: Not jussst in your eyessss. You’re crying.
Samurai D: What about me? VENOM!!! THINK OF SOMETHING FUNNY TO SAY ABOUT ME!
Venom: You’re an idiot.
Samurai D: IM AN IDIOT! Wait, what? -_- VENOM!!
Venom: Also you got your costume from a fancy dress shop. You even have a foam sword.
Samurai D: ….. Anyway I have come to steal yo cupcakes.
Neve: Hey Dunce who’s that? He looks like Steve but purple. I don’t remember hiring him.
Venom: Neither do I. He hired me. (Well, actually, he shoved me in a bag.) Why am I even here?
Samurai D: Get back in your bag! *Shoves in*
Mark: I don’t know. *Scoffs Hot-dogs* Aw. They’re all gone. WAIT… WHO ATE THEM?!
Steve: You did, Mark.
Mark: I was afraid of that.
Steve: I know.
Neve: Seriously, Venom guy, you aren’t qualified to be here. The contract says here that…
Steve: DON’T MAKE ME QUIT AGAIN.
Neve: … That you must be:
Ninjaz: Mark Jeff Luke Steve o= yes x= no
Stupid: o o o x
A snake: x x x o
Like hotdogs: o o o o
Funny: o o o o
Ready to die: x x x x (This one was a fail.)
Hate samurai: o o o o
Love food: o o o o
Be good fighters: x x x o
Catchphrase: o o o o
Be dumb: o o o x
And much more!
Venom: *Peeks out of bag* Um. This would be me.
A snake: o
Like hotdogs: x
Ready to die: x
Hate samurai: x
Love food: x
Be good fighters: o
Be dumb: x
Venom: I’m not qualified.
Steve: Then LEAVE!
Mark: ANOTHER MEANIE!!!!!!
Neve: He could join Samurai D.
Samurai D: Yay!
Luke: *finishes eating chips* I could murder a hotdog.
Mark and Jeff: *GASP*
*Later that day, the Ninjaz walk into Neve and Finley’s office.*
Luke: Were running out of food! PLEASE draw some more.
Steve: Yeah. Mark’sssss having a nervoussss breakdown.
Finley: Hey where’s Jeff?
*At the ninjaz secret base (aka Hotdog van)…*
Jeff: MUAHAHA THE HOTDOGZ ARE MINE! All mine!!! FOREVA!!!
*They look outside the window where the hotdog van is parked*
Mark: ERMAGAWD HE HAS THE HOTDOGS!!!!
Steve: He musssst die!!!!
Neve: Meh. Do what you must. Just leave us alone.
Luke: He stole our food… DIEEEEEEEEEEE!
*Mark grabs a spear, Jeff grabs nun chucks, Luke grabs swords and Steve… jumps out of the window*
Jeff: MINE! All…. Huh?
Jeff: *Jumps in driver’s seat and starts up the van* I have been found out! I knew I shouldn’t have parked outside our house!
*They smash into the windscreen, Steve’s jaws open*
Jeff: *Turns on windscreen wipers* Ah-ha!
Steve: *Bites them off* AH-HA TO YOU TOO!!!
Mark: *Breaks through glass*
*Five minutes later…*
Jeff: PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!!!
*Jeff is tied to a chair*
Finley: Why did you do it!!!??
Jeff: I was… er……….
Neve: SPIT IT OUT!
Jeff: *Spits out hotdog*
Steve: Hey… He ssssmells…. different… A bit like… SSSSALAD?!
Luke: *Pulls mask of Jeff’s face to reveal he is actually samurai D!*
Samurai D: Blast!
Mark: What have you done with Jeff?!
Jeff: *Walks through the door whistling with a bag of hot-dogs from HotDogs R’ Us and puts shruikens down* Hi guys!
Jeff: What? I got hotdogs!!! Oh hi Samurai D. WAIT WHAT?! WHY IS HE WEARING MY OUTFIT?! UGH! I WANT A NEW ONE! THIS IS WAY NOT IN MY CONTRACT!!!
Luke: HAH SAMURAI D IS SO PATHETIC HE COULDN’T EVEN CATCH JEFF!!!
Jeff: WHAT?! THAT’S MEAN!!!!
All: *Starts laughing*
Mark: Um… Neve… The hotdogs are… gone again…
Neve: -_- Learn to cook.
Steve: Good idea!
*At a studio… The ninjaz enter, and threaten the director to let them do a cooking show.*
Mark: TOO MANY MEANIES!!!!
Luke: if you do not do it then Steve WILL eat you.
Steve: WHAT?! I WILL? I mean…. Yessssss. I will. (Yuck.)
*Ten minutes later*
COOKING WITH THE NINJAZ AT ANYTIME!!!
Steve: Hello everyone, I’m Sssssteve! I’ll be your host! We deleted all the cooking shows ssssso we are your only hope for cooking!!
Luke: *Jumps on table* so you are DOOMED!
Steve: Our sssstar cooker today is Mark. (He is the only one that can cook….) HI MARK!!
Director: Ok, mark, I want you too…
Mark: First, how to make hot-dogs. Usually Neve would draw them. But… FIRST, GRAB A HOTDOG SAUSAGE! THEN PUT IT IN THE HOTDOG ROLL! THEN PUT MUSTARD, KETCHUP AND ONIONS ON IT!!!!! VIOLA!! Or, you can add your own stuff on! Like sugar, syrup, fish, bread, more sauce!
Steve: Next up, Jeff!
Jeff: HI GUYSSSSS WOW SSSSTEVESSS HISSSSING IS CATCHY. Anyway I’m going to show you how to make….TOAST!
Mark: ERMAGAWD! GENIUS!!!
Jeff: *Jumps in the air and throws bread in toaster landing with a double flip* the flip is optional cooking fans! Now we wait for 50 seconds for the bread to toast!
Mark: *Looks wide eyed at toaster* TOAST COMES FROM BREAD??!!!
Director: Really? REALLY?!
Jeff: That’s right Mark! Hotdog rolls are also made from bread!!!!!
Mark: You are the Cooking Master.
Steve: Anyway… Next up….. The amazing, sssstupid…. LUKE!!!!
Luke: HOWDY FANS! I’m going to show you how to make a SANDWICH! It can be made from BREAD!
Mark: BREAD HAS SO MANY USES!
Luke: first get two pieces of bread! Here’s the fun bit… CHOOSING YOU FILLING!! I will use hotdog sausages and….
Steve: OK! LUKE! They know how to make ssssandwhiches! Ok, now… THE HOTDOG PIZZA!!!! Get a pizza. Get sssssome hotdogssss. Chop them up. Dip them in tomato ssssauce, cheessssse and hotdog juice. Cover them in bread. Sprinkle assssss required on pizza. DONE!!!
Director: -_- I’m surrounded by IDIOTS.
Mark: Um, Jeff? THE TOAST IS BURNING!
All: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *toaster explodes*
*Everyone is covered in ash*
Steve: Um…. Jeff… You can’t…. Cook.
Mark: Hey, the toast was spared! *Eats* Tastes GREAT!!!
*They walk back home to find…*
Luke: THE BASE HAS BEEN RAIDED!!!!
Mark: THE FRIDGE WAS TAKEN!!!!!!
Jeff: Hey, footprints! They lead… TO THE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET!
Steve: Wait…. Our neighbours burgled the van?
Mark: You gotta keep an open mind.
Steve: How do you even know what that meansssss?
*They walk to the house, and….*
???: Stop right there!
*Epic battle music*
Luke: Where did that come from?
Mark: Is that a horse?
Horse: NEIGH!!!!! I can talk By the way. I’m Sally!!!!!! THE HORSE!!!
???: I’m Jodie!!!!
???: I’m Maddie!
???: I’m Lola!! PONIES!!!
Jodie: WE HAVE A PONY!!!
Maddie: WE ARE THE….
Mark: OMG THEY HAVE A PONY!!!!
Jodie, Maddie, Lola, Sally: WE ARE THE GINGA NINJAS!
Steve: Lol you’re girlssss.
Lola: WE LOVE PONIES AND SALAD AND RAINBOWS!
Mark: Are they aliens?
*They knock out the Stick Ninjaz using rainbow powers and stuff and kidnap Steve*
*Hours later….. The ninjaz wake up…*
Luke: What happened?
Mark: I don’t know.
Jeff: THEY GOT STEVE!
Mark: Oh great.
Luke: Does that mean we can say seriously now?
*Meanwhile in a house with rainbow pink walls….*
Steve: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!??
Sally: Um. I don’t actually know. The Ginga Ninjas have candyfloss for brains.
Steve: SSSSSOMEONE THAT READSSSS FROM THE SSSSAME PAGE!!!!
Sally: IM NOT A PONY!!!!! IM A HORSE!!!!
Maddie: Yeah. Jodie, what are we doing with the snakey-wakey?
Jodie: I got 2 ideas. One: brainwash it. 2 DRESS IT UP IN TUTUS AND PINK STUFF!!!
Maddie: EXCELLENT! LETS…
Jodie: Yeah, let’s ask Sally.
Sally: Um…. Erm…
Steve: You. Dare.
Sally: *Evil smile* DRESS HIM UP!!!
Steve: YOURE GONNA REGRET MESSSSSING WITH THE SSSSTICK NINJAZ!
Mark: We should save Steve!
Luke: don’t abuse our temporary freedom. Also let’s get back the fridge as well!!
Mark: Yeah, just because Steve’s gone it doesn’t mean we can use his catchphrase. First, we need a spy… HEY NEVE! DRAW A CAMERA INSIDE THE GINGA NINJA BASE!
Neve: GO AWAY! IM EATING!!!!
Finley: NEVE THIS IS THE ONLY SMART NINJA WERE TALKING ABOUT!!!
Neve: …. -_- Fine. *Draws* There.
*they see the following scene….*
Steve: SHUT UP!!!!
Steve: HELP ME! THEYRE GONNA DRESS ME AS A GIRL!!!
Jodie: What are we dressing him up as?
Steve: Pleasssse….. HELP ME!!!
Mark: IT’S TERRIBLE!!!!
Jeff: NOOOO NOT AS A PONY!!!
Luke: RIP Steve if we don’t save him.
Mark: What can we use to get in their base? *Leans against drill*
Luke: You thinking what I’m thinking?
Jeff: I don’t know, are you thinking about hot-dogs?
*In the torture chamber…*
Steve: *Struggles against pink chains as Jodie gets pony suit ready* NOOOOOOO!
Sally: Can we get her seen by a psychiatric professor person?
Jodie: Yay! Pony suit!
Maddie: *Claps hands* YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
*Large drill with mural ‘HOTDOGMOBILE’ on the side bursts into the room*
*Mark, Jeff, and Luke jump into the room*
Jeff, Mark and Luke: NINJA NINJA! IT’S THE NINJAZ!
Steve: I’m ssssaved! I hope. I’m actually impressssed!
*They strike poses*
Mark: *Pulls out hotdog gun and clicks* Huh?
Jeff: You ate the ammo, Mark.
Luke: We forgot our weapons!
Maddie: *Facepalm* GET THEM GINGAS!
Jodie: CHARGE, SALLY!!!
Sally: Don’t rush me.
Mark: NOEZ! THE PONYYYYY!
*Jeff drops hotdog witch sally runs over*
Mark: RAGHRRRR! HOTDOG NINJA RAGE TIME!
*One total whitewash later…*
Steve: *Surveys the carnage* Good job.
Maddie: We will be back!
Sally: QUICK, GINGAS! HOP ON!
*They jump on Sally and she rides off*
Jeff: *Looks at Steve* I wish you could do that.
Steve: Don’t try it. Don’t even think about it.
*Meanwhile, on Sally…*
Maddie: We escaped!
Lola: Ugh….. P-poni…es….
Jodie: That Mark was DEADLY! It was Sally’s fault for running over the hot-dog.
Sally: And look who’s carrying you away.
*Look behind them to see the HotDogMobile that has been spraypainted to look like a snake*
Steve: whose idea was this?
Steve: Remind me to kill you later.
Luke: *Stuffs Mark in the cannon* He’s still raging! Fire him!
Sally: NOOO! THE MARK-GUN!!!!
Jeff: Aim…. FIRE!!!!
*He misses but gets up and outruns Sally to karate-kick the GINGA NINJAS out of town*
Stick Ninjaz: YEAH! GO MARK!
Steve: Ok, Jeff, I’m going to kill you know.
*They go home*
*meanwhile the ginga ninjas head full speed for samurai Ds space station*
Samurai D: what the…
Computer: Error. Object of unknown origin approaching. Looks like a pony? No, it couldn’t be.
Samurai D: it could be the ninjaz!
*Meanwhile, on Sally*
Maddie: That’s getting annoying. How can we breathe out here?
Jodie: I don’t know. Something about…
Samurai D: VENOM! GET OUT OF YOUR BAG!
Venom: What? I was napping.
Samurai D: COMPUTER!!! What hit us?
Computer: It… It… Was a… pony.
Samurai D: I’m going to check it out. D-TROOPERS!! Guard the computer.
*Samurai D and Venom (Not that he has a choice, bag, remember?) go to the crash point.*
Venom: Ok, I’m getting out of my bag.
Samurai D: No, stay there as an ambush tactic. (Aka Meat shield.)
*The Ginga Ninjas get off Sally (Aka Pony)*
Sally: I… So… didn’t… sign up for… this.
Samurai D: Its ok, it’s just some girls. I thought it was the Stick Ninjaz!
Ginga Ninjas: wait, what? Are you an ally of the stick ninjaz?
Samurai D: NO! I built this space station (The D Star) to be a refuge from them!
Venom: He’s really weak.
Samurai D: GET BACK IN YOUR BAG!
Maddie: You know… we hate the ninjaz too. Maybe we could team up?
Jodie: Good idea.
Samurai D: On one condition. We get Steve.
Ginga Ninjas: No, we want him to dress up!
Venom: How about you dress him up and then give him to the samurai?
Venom: I’m smart.
*Meanwhile in the HotDogMobile…*
Steve: Hey, they went into sssspace!
Mark: HEY! THE HOTDOGRADAR IS BEEPING! It detects…. metal…. and… hotdogs!
Jeff: We have the target!
*CRASHHH! The D-Star crashed (ahem, landed) into a house nearby.*
Steve: Good job no-one was home.
Luke: The D-Star!
*Samurai D, Venom, and the Ginga Ninjas come out*
Venom: Surrender Steve or we will take him with force!
Steve: Nooooo! The GINGA NINJAS!!!
Mark: Quick! Throw a hot-dog on the floor! In fact, don’t!
Jeff: *Puts on Am I Wrong by Nico&Vinc* Things are about to get…
Lola: PONY CHARGE!!!!
Sally: OK! *Charges*
Jeff: *Spins around and throws nun chucks at Sally*
Lola: Ah!! PONY NOOOO!
Sally: SHUT UP!!! ARGH!!!! MY POOR LEG!
Steve: FIRE THE HOTDOGCANNON!
Mark: FIRE ME NOW!!!
Ginga Ninjas: NOT AGAIN!
*They get blasted*
Samurai D: Take cover!
Maddie: Hurry, Venom! Turn on the tractor beam!
Jeff: The tractor beam? Is that a new type of bean?
Steve: I don’t think ssssso.
*Tractor beam abducts Steve and the Ginga Ninjas and Samurai D*
Stick Ninjaz: STEVE NO!
Steve: NOT AGAINNNNNNnnnnnnn…… *Trails off as the D-star takes off*
Luke: Only one person can help us save Steve… R2-D2!
Jeff: Isn’t he a robot?
Mark: Yeah! I have his number! He lives with Master Yoda!
Stick Ninjaz: LET’S GO!
*Meanwhile in the D-star…*
Sally: My leg still hurts.
Venom: Quit whining Pony.
*Steve is tied down to a table and the Ginga Ninjas, Venom and Samurai D surround him*
Steve: Why me?
Jodie: Cos you’re a cute snakey-wakey!!!
Maddie: ….And we want to dress you up like Pony!
Sally: ….. My name is Sally.
Samurai D: *Emerges from shadows* and then I will brainwash you!
*Meanwhile at Yoda’s house…*
Mark: And that’s why we need your help!
Master Yoda: My help, you need? Rescue Steve, you must?
R2-D2: *Beep whistle*
Mark: You said it Luke!
Master Yoda: Defeat Darth Vadumb you must, Luke Ninjawalker. Freed, Steve must be, and fight Darth Venom he must.
Jeff: What? Who knew something little as Stick Ninjaz would cross with the legendary Star Wars!
R2-D2: *Whistle beep clank beep*
Mark: You’re right, we need to be quick!
*They get on Yoda’s space ship and fly to the D-Star*
*Meanwhile on the D-Star… D-Troopers march along with Samurai D and Venom*
Darth Venom: Let us go to meet the Ginga Ninjas. They say they are done with Steve now. I hear his screams from here.
Darth Vadumb: Yes.
D-Trooper A: A horse is coming into land, Master.
Darth Vadumb: Very good. Allow permission.
*Sally and the Ginga Ninjas land with Steve in a cage dressed as a horse*
Darth Venom: Excellent.
Steve: Ugh…. *Slumps against cage*
Darth Venom: The famous Steve in a cage dressed as a horse.
Darth Vadumb: Bring him to the BRAINCHAMBER!
*Suddenly, a ship crashes in to land.*
*On the ship…*
Master Yoda: Parking ticket, we must not get.
Luke Ninjawalker: As you wish, master.
Jeff Solo: Me must rescue the princess- Er, I mean Steve!
Master Yoda: Not exactly like Star Wars, this is.
Mark-Threepio: Why am I the Robot?
R2-D2: *Whistle beep! Offended whistle!*
Mark-Threepio: Sorry R2.
Luke Ninjawalker: Its Darth Vadumb and Darth Venom with the Ginga Ninjas! They have Steve! Who looks like a horse!
Master Yoda: Like a fancy dress party reject, he looks like.
Jeff Solo: Indeed.
*They jump out of the ship*
D-trooper A: Oh NOEZZ!
Darth Vadumb: Quick! The Stick Ninjaz are here! D-Trooper, hold them and the little green dude off!
Master Yoda: A little green dude, you say I am?
*Five seconds later…*
D-Trooper A: Ugh…. *Faints*
Yoda: Offended, I was. Go now, you must.
Luke Ninjawalker: Thank-you, Master Yoda!
Mark-Threepio: Come on!
R2-D2: *Whistle clank*
Jeff Solo: You’ve got a point R2. It’s going to be hard. Let’s go Mission Impossible.
*Jeff hangs from the ceiling over Steve who is tied to a table with a laser pointed at him*
Jeff Solo: *Grabs him and pulls him up*
*The Ninjaz and R2 jump down from the hole in the roof:
Darth Venom: I told you to fix that!
D-Trooper B: Sorry…
D-Trooper C: It costs money you know!
Darth Venom: Curse the costs of fixing holes!
Luke Ninjawalker: Face me in battle, Darth Vadumb!
Darth Vadumb: You will die! *Pulls out glowstick*
Mark-Threepio: *Pulls out spear* Come at me D-Troopers!
D-Trooper B&C: *Fire their water guns* DIE!
Luke Ninjawalker: *Pulls out glowstick* Prepare to die!
Jeff Solo and Mark-Threepio: *Defeat D-Troopers* Now for the Ginga Ninjas!
*Ginga Ninjas charge and R2 fires his laser thingy*
Sally: I CAN’T FIGHT BECAUSE OF MY LEG!
Ginga Ninjas: Ginger Power go! *Pull out rainbow lollipops*
Mark-Threepio: *Eats lollipop*
Jeff Solo: *Cuts Steve’s bonds* you’re free!
Steve: How come I don’t get a nickname?
Mark-Threepio: GUYS! Need some HELP HERE!!!
Jodie: GO GINGAS, GO GINGAS!!!!!
Steve Windu: Quick! Get Lola!
Jeff solo: Um, Mace Windu is meant to be dead at this moment.
Steve Windu: I Don’t care.
Luke Ninjawalker: JUST GET THE GINGAS!!! AND STEVE WINDU!!! GET DARTH VENOM!!!
Steve Windu: Prepare to die Darth Venom!
Darth Venom: Not on my watch! *Pulls out purple glowstick*
Steve Windu: *Unsheathes green glowstick and lunges* Ah-ha!
Jeff Solo, and Mark-Threepio: Go, Ninjaz!!
Jodie: *Pulls out extra-large jumbo rainbow sparkly pony-shaped lollipop* BEAT THIS!!!
R2-D2: *Whistle beep-beep CLANK*
Jeff Solo: MARK-THREEPIO! GET THE HOTDOG CANNON! IT’S OUR ONLY HOPE!!!!
Mark-Threepio: Yeah! *Jumps on HotDogMobile that happens to be there at the time for some unknown impossible reason*
R2-D2: *URGENT WHISTLE BEEP*
Jeff Solo: FIRE AT WILL! SHOW NO MERCY!!!! *Pulls out mini cookie-gun* I’ll distract them!
Mark-Threepio: FREESTYLE HOTDOG RIFLE FIRE TIME!!!! *Shoots a spray of hotdogs*
Lola: PONIES!!!! NO!!!! PONIEESSSSS!!!!! *Hot-dog hits her on the head and she is knocked out*
Jodie: LOLA NO!!! Ok Gingas… ATTACK!
Maddie: It’s only me and you.
Maddie: BUT I HAVE THE ULTIMATE LOLLIPOP BLASTER!!!
Jeff Solo: MARK QUICK!!! GET THEM!!!
Mark-Threepio: *Hits them in super sniper gun hotdog aim* MUHAHAHHA!!!
The Ginga Ninjas: No…. No… Rainbow… Hotdog… Sparkly poni…s…noooo…
The Ninjaz: YES!!!
Luke NInjawalker: Guys I’m going after Darth Vadumb!
The NInjaz: Ok! Go!
Steve Windu: *Disarms Darth Venom*AHAHAHAHHAH!
Darth Venom: *Destroys his weapon* DOUBLE AHAAHAHAHAHAAH!
Steve Windu: Aw, come onnnnnn…. AHAH! *Jumps on him and wraps coils around neck*
Darth Venom: Ak.. Ahrk… Ak… *Faints*
Steve Windu: YESSSSSSSSSSS!
*Meanwhile in a lab somewhere on the D-Star…*
Darth Vadumb: HURRY HURRY hurry HURRYYYY UP COMPUTER!!!
Computer: Error. Repeated word, ‘Hurry.’ Cannot process meaning.
Darth Vadumb: HURRY UP!!!!!!
Computer: Wi-Fi is down. Cannot download escape pod controls at this moment. Please fix the wireless connection pod thingy. Virus has been detected.
Darth Vadumb: I knew I SHOULD HAVE UPDATED NORTON!!! GRAGHHHH!! IS NOTHING ON THIS SHIP RIGHT?! Can my day get any worse?
Computer: Actually, nothing is right. And, Luke Ninjawalker, the hotdog eating ninja, is on his way to pulverise you. My calculations say he will get here in five minutes unless my maths is wrong. And it never is.
Darth Vadumb: Great. And when I asked whether it can get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Computer: I’m pretty sure it was a challenge.
Darth Vadumb: I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.
Computer: Look! Here he is now!
*Door smashes open*
Luke Ninjawalker: Face your doom, Darth Vadumb!!!
Computer: Told you my calculations were never wrong.
Darth Vadumb: SHUT UP COMPUTER!!!
Computer: Error. Cannot process command. Translation: Make me.
Darth Vadumb: IM SUPPOSED TO BE THE MEAN ONE!
Computer: Well, maybe I should take your place.
Luke Ninjawalker: *Ahem* Excuse me?
Darth Vadumb: WAIT ONE SECOND!
Computer: Yes. We need to discuss me taking his place as evil villain.
Darth Vadumb: THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!
Computer: I’ll show you I’m right for the job. *Downloads itself onto an escape pod and activates self-destruct*
Darth Vadumb: CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luke Ninjawalker: *runs down corridor to other ninjaz* guys we have a situation!
Mark-Threepio: *Looks up from eating hotdog* what?
Steve Windu: GUYS IT’S GOING TO SsssELF DESTRCUCT!!!!
Luke Ninjawalker: YEAH! HOW DID YOU KNOW? AND THE COMPUTER IS EVIL!!
Steve Windu: I read the script earlier.
Mark-Threepio: Cheat. Anyway, can we go back to our normal names now?
Jeff Solo: Yeah ok.
*The ninjaz run towards the nearest escape pod and press eject and it blasts off into space*
Mark: Nothing can go wrong now…
Computer: WHAT!!! WHY ARE YOU HERE!!!!
Jeff: The Computer? OH NOEZZZ!
Computer: Im gonna destroy you ONCE AND FOR ALL!
*D-Star explodes and they see a pony hurtling towards earth and Master Yoda’s ship flying off*
Steve: Is that Ssssally?
Luke: How are you going to destroy us? You have no arms.
Computer: BY CRASHING INTO THE SUN!!!! Resetting course…
Mark: IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!
Steve: How old are you anyway?
Mark: I don’t know.
Jeff: It’s been nice knowing you guys.
Mark: Remember the first time we met?
Computer: Oh great, a mushy flashback scene backstory. Hurry up ship. Crash into the sun already.
Other Computer: DON’T RUSH ME!!!
*Dramatic flashback music….*
Mark: Ah! Ninjaversity at last! I can’t wait!
Random dude: Welcome to Ninjaversity! Please remember hotdogs are a no-go here!
Mark: Good! Hotdogs are unhealthy!
*Cuts through flashback*
Steve: Wait, what?!
Mark: What dark times.
*Back in the flashback…*
*Walks into the school and into his room*
Dude in room: oh hi you must be my new roommate! I’m Jeff.
Mark: Hi I’m Mark!
Jeff: Do you like hotdogs?
Mark: NO WAY! They are SO unhealthy.
Jeff… Have you tried one?
Mark: … Umm… No.
Jeff: Then you haven’t lived.
*Back in the present….*
Jeff: Such truth was in those words.
Luke: Remember how you met me?
*Back in the flashback…*
Mark: Where are we going?
Jeff: To the black market of food.
Guy in corner: Hey! Psst! Over here! Wanna buy a hotdog?!
Guy in corner: I’m Luke, your friendly neighbourhood hotdogmonger.
Mark: Is that a word?
Luke: Anything’s a word when it comes to hot dogs.
Mark: Hey, wanna come back to our room to eat hot dogs?
Luke: Um sure.
*Back in their room…*
Mark: *Tries a hot dog…*
Jeff and Luke: Well?
Mark: Um…It’s……….. OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER TASTED OMG OMG OMG OMG *Does a triple backflip and quadruple spin*
Jeff: Wow! That was like a ninja! You’re a natural!
Luke: Maybe we should make a club. Together… We WILL SAVE THE WORLD FROM PEOPLE THAT LIKE EVIL THINGS LIKE BROCOLLI AND VEGATABLES AND GREEN THINGS!
Jeff and Mark: YEAH!
*A week later…*
Luke: Guys, I’ve been thinking…. I know we’ve been doing super productive stuff in the past week… but I think we should get a pet!
Mark: Are you serious? What sort of pet?
Luke: A serious, awesome ninja pet from the ninja store. But it can’t be smarter than us!
Mark: What is?
*Back in the present…*
Jeff, Luke and Mark: *Nervous laughter* eheheheheh…
Steve: -_- I can’t believe you said that.
*Meanwhile on the hurtling pony…*
Ginga Ninjas: ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
Maddie: Hey you know the Ninjaz? I think I’ve seen them before we knocked them out.
Maddie: Ah so this is what a room at Ninjaversity looks like!
Jodie: Hello roommate! I’m Jodie.
Lola: I’m Lola! PONIES!
Lola: I love ponies me.
Jodie: That’s right, she does.
*Back on Sally…*
Maddie: Ah, the days when she could say more than I’m, Lola and PONIES!!!
Jodie: Don’t you start.
*On the Ninjaz pod…*
Computer: Where were we?
Other Computer: In the middle of a flashback?
Computer: Oh yeah.
*In the flashback…*
*At the ninja pet store….*
Mark: Aw, a kitten!
Luke: Step away from the kitten, Mark.
Luke: Look at that! A Fox! It’s called… Bandit!
Mark: Cool! Let’s get it!
Jeff: Looks too smart. Hey, what’s that? *Turns to see snake in cage* Wow! Awesome!
Mark: It looks pretty stupid, and cool!
Snake: Hissssssss! (Oh great….)
Mark: We’ll take it! It comes with four free hotdogs!
Snake: HIIIIIIIISSSS!! (Noooooooo!)
*At Ninjaversity Laboratory…*
Luke: Hey guys, we haven’t actually named the Snake yet.
Mark: We’ll name it later.
Snake: Hisss… (Harrumph.)
Jeff: *Plonks cage down on counter* Hey, whats this button do? *Presses*
Snake: HIIIISSSSS! *OWOWOWOOWOWWO!*
Mark: OMG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!
Luke: It says smart ray on the side.
All Ninjaz: *Gasp*
Snake: Hisss… I mean… Hello.
All NInjaz: !!!!!!!
Snake: Name me already!!!!!
Mark: How about Steven?
Snake: One letter too long.
All: WELCOME TO THE FAMILY STEVE!!!!!!!!!
*In the present…*
Steve: Ah, unpleasant memories.
Mark: Heyyyy…. I can see the sun!!!!
*Dun Dun DUUUUHHHHHHH! What will happen to out heroic ninjaz?*
Mark: So pretttttyyyy…
Jeff: So computer what are you gonna do when you escape the pod?
Computer: What do you mean escape the- ZOMG!!!! NOOEEEEZ!!!!!
Other Computer: QUEIT IM TRYING TO DRIVE!!!
Computer: Quick turn turn turn turn turn turn!!!!
Other Computer: Quit BACK SEAT DRIVING!!!!!!
Other Computer: I seem to have run out of fuel. Goodbye, have a nice trip!
Other other computer: You have arrived at your destination. Have a nice annihilation!! Hey, that rhymes.
Computer: How many of you guys are there?!
Other other computer: Quite a lot.
Computer: Honestly, what next? An OTHER OTHER OTHER computer?!
Jeff: Excuse me? About to be burnt into four extra-crispy ninja pancakes here!
Mark: YUM. I could kill one of those right now.
Jeff: You will be one.
Luke: Are there any ejector buttons around here?
Steve: I don’t know. Everybody look.
Mark: Well, there’s a weird big red button saying ‘Ejector button’ on it in big black lettering, but…
Luke: That could be anything.
Mark: Wait a second…
Steve: Yes, Mark?
Mark: This ship is called ‘HOTDOGPOD!’
Jeff: Wait a second…
Steve: Yes, Jeff?
Jeff: I don’t know it just sounds cool.
Luke: I know right?
Mark: Wait a second…
Steve: What now?
Mark: Look, the ejector button!
Steve: Yes, Mark. Well done.
Computer: HURRY UP AND PRESS IT ALREADY!
Jeff: What? You mean this one? *Presses button next to the other one*
Computer: THAT’S THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON!!
Luke: *Presses the ejector button* Luke to the rescue! I’m like SUPERMAN!
Steve: More like Wonder Woman.
Mark: HEY! WONDER WOMAN IS AWESOME!
Jeff: What about Batman?
Mark: Nah, he’s just a wimpy lonely millionaire in a cheesy bat costume that gets his friend to build all his gadgets.
Jeff: Oh no you DIDN’T!
Steve: How come we haven’t ejected-
*Suddenly they all fall out of the floor as it opens and a few seconds later the ship explodes*
The Ninjaz: YAY, WE’RE FREE!
Steve: Wait a second… How can we breathe?
Luke: Ninja logic, my friend. It is a mystery.
Jeff: When did you get all solemn and wise?
Mark: Wow, hurtling through space is FUN!
Steve: Wait, what?
Steve: Are we still falling?
Jeff: Think so.
This took ages xD Credit to Finley as well.
This is another chapter.
More credit to Finley 🙂
Steve: Ok, this is getting boring quick…
Mark: AHHHHHHHhhhhhhh…. Yeah, I guess so.
Jeff: Hey look, I can see the ground! Progress!
Luke: That’s awesome!
Jeff: Its getting closer!
Steve: Closer… That means… We hit it soon.
Jeff: Yaaaaa- oh my ninja.
Mark: How can you faint in mid space?! WE ARE MEANT TO BE DEAD!
Steve: I KNOW! SHUT UP! IT’S GETTING REAL CLOSE!
Jeff: I leave my hotdogs to that cat who is always sniffing around them.
Mark: Hey, what about me?!
Steve: You’ll be dead too, Mark.
Mark: Well. In that case, I’d like to say my will and last words. First of all, I leave my hotdogs to nobody. Hands off! The rest of my food is to the same cat. My house… Oh wait, we don’t have one. My fridge… Me again. Everything else… Still me. It’s been nice ninja-ing with you guys. I’m gonna miss all of you…
*Emotional music starts to play*
Steve: Aw Ninja No!
Luke: I don’t get why we don’t just use our parachutes!
Mark: ZOMG we HAVE THOSE?
Jeff: Yes. It is one of the few things not eaten up by our budget cuts and hotdog addiction.
*All of them press the parachute button installed on their ninja suits*
Mark: We are totally in sync!
*Eventually they reach land*
Jeff: SWEET GROUND!!! *Starts kissing*
Steve: Hey, we are home!
Luke: How convenient!
All: To the ninja base!
Finley: Hey Neve, I think the Ninjaz are back!
Neve: God help us.
Finley: Shall I barricade the doors then?
Neve: Nah. Last time they just climbed through the upstairs window.
*Door bursts open*
Neve: Nothing. We have a mission for you.
NInjaz: BUT WE JUST GOT HERE!
Mark: Hey, who’s that?
*Points at a shadowy figure in the corner*
Neve and Finley: Yeah, we need to introduce you to our new ninja/weapon designer/Gamer/Gun freak/Weirdo/Logical thinking person/Nuclear expert/Toilet Cleaner/Etcetera.
Neve: His name is…
Finley: Lazarus Laxidon Lexulus Lucasus Petey Lionel London!
Neve: … Um… NO, his name is…
???: Lancelot Bob Lionel Le Gunne!
Neve… Or Lance, for short.
Lance: Yeah! Now excuse me, I’d better get back to annihilating a pitiful city. DIE, MEAGRE EARTHLING FOOLS! MUHUHUHUHUHAA!
Lance: *Ahem* What?
Mark: What is that odd congregation of unexpected queer noises I hear? Is it perhaps a Lousy, Crotchety old man wearing black leather and shades on a wooden chariot led by two giant winged hogs?
Steve: Since when did you have a way with words?
Mark: Actually, I don’t know what any of that means I was just reciting it from a-
*Old man with a wooden chariot pulled by winged pigs crashes through door*
Old man: In my day we didn’t have spellcheckers on Microsoft word! We just had to learn to spell or our writing was laughed at! Then the laughers would rip it to shreds and incinerate it! Yep times were tough in my day. And by gum did we like it!
*Old man exits the room*
Mark: OMG SUCH WORDS OF TRUTH AND WISDOM!
Steve: By Gum? BY GUM?! WHO IN THE WORLD STILL SAYS BY GUM?!
Jeff: Old crazy people who rant a lot?
Lance: Hello? New guy here? Where do I sleep? *Whispers under breath* I mean play video games… THEY’LL NEVER KNOW…
Steve: You can have the wardrobe.
Lance: Awesome! I’ll pack my extremely ille- I mean totally legal stuff!
TEN HOURS LATER
Lance: That’s the last of my nukes! Thanks for helping Steve! I’m surprised you didn’t blow yourself up!
Steve: Actually me too! It must be my lucky day! Anyway why do you need all this illegal stuff?
Lance: HOW DARE YOU! IT’S EXTREMELY LEGAL! Apart from the weapons… BUT STILL! I NEED ALL OF THIS TO MAKE MY MAN CAVE!
Steve: why so many videogamez? WHY SO MANY VIDEOGAMEZ!?
Lance: I’m a hoarder…
Steve: Hannah Montana: The game? Seriously?
Lance: GOTTA GO! BYE!!!! *runs*