See how Anne, age 12, pulls readers in by changing a “telling” sentence into a “showing” scene. It certainly worked for me! Anne’s strong verbs (pelted, squeezed, escape) and powerful images (gloomy darkness, fuzzy pink blanket) made me feel like I was right there with her.
Follow the link Camping Trip: Show Don’t Tell to see how this writer turned “telling” into “showing.” Then let Anne know if it worked for you too by leaving her a comment.
Excellent example of turning a drab sentence into a feeling moment, Anne. Welcome to the site!
allwritewithme.com 
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