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Archive for the ‘Share your work’ Category

Great Examples

yummy_tnIn Chapter Two of Marked Five, Elsy has given us two great examples: First, an effective way of introducing a new character and second, how to make sure readers keep reading.

Elsy used a list of what Ashley cares about to give us a window into this character’s personality.  This list is perfect because it includes three things that are specific and relatable.

To make sure readers keep reading, Elsy planted a very effective seed of worry at the end of the chapter. She provided just enough details to spark curiosity while still keeping plenty of questions for readers to wonder about.

Elsy also added to the Historical Fiction and Realistic Fiction group projects.

Thanks for sharing, Elsy!

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Group projects, Share your work, Your writing

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A New Story Begins

Follow the link, Marked Five, to read the prologue and first chapter of Elsy’s story. I’m impressed with this submission because Elsy has created a situation and characters I’m sure you will relate to. Her descriptions are effective and her writing is clear, well-organized, easy to follow, and very entertaining.

Elsy would like everyone to know that although this set-up sounds like domestic fiction, she’s planning to add elements of fantasy and adventure.

Thanks for sharing, Elsy. I’m proud to add Marked Five to the All Write with Me library!

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Another Lesson for Show, Don’t Tell

scary sea creatureWith Scary Sea Creature, Anne shares another example of how she changed a flat, telling sentence into a vivid picture.

Actually, Anne’s description of the sea creature was much scarier than this picture. Unfortunately, I don’t draw, so it was the best I could do with clip art.

I liked how Anne described the creature and also included a clear description of her main character’s reaction and response. Thanks for showing us how this is done, Anne!

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New Writer Shares Writing Assignment

rainSee how Anne, age 12, pulls readers in by changing a “telling” sentence into a “showing” scene. It certainly worked for me! Anne’s strong verbs (pelted, squeezed, escape) and powerful images (gloomy darkness, fuzzy pink blanket) made me feel like I was right there with her.

Follow the link Camping Trip: Show Don’t Tell to see how this writer turned “telling” into “showing.” Then let Anne know if it worked for you too by leaving her a comment.

Excellent example of turning a drab sentence into a feeling moment, Anne. Welcome to the site!

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Welcome Cassandra!

miraclesOnce again, I’m impressed by the talent of a young writer. To see how this writer makes readers care about her characters, read Cassandra’s Miracles. Cassandra’s characters work because she shows us different sides of them: what makes them great and what makes them less than great. This not only makes her characters more real, but it also practically guarantees that most readers will recognize some part of themselves inside these characters. And that’s what makes us care.

Great job, Cassandra, and welcome to the site!

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Welcome New Writer

pencilMegan N. shared her talent on All Write with Me today and I’m so glad she did. She’s been busy, too. Read her additions to the site by clicking on the following links – also, let her know what you think by posting a comment, or two, or three.

Better yet, let her know what you think, then add your own imagination to the Group Projects stories – everyone’s additions are welcome, including and especially yours.

Welcome, Megan. I admire your imagination and am so happy you found us!

P.S. This is not really a picture of Megan’s pencil. I’m sure she doesn’t bite hers. I picked this image because I’m assuming that if she does use pencils, she uses them until they’re gone. Like this one.

Now, on to the links:

For Plots – great ideas

Group Projects

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Group projects, Share your work, Welcome, Your writing

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The Story Continues

Read the latest addition of The Story by The Blue Dragon.

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More Writing

Follow the link to read the next installment of The Story by Blue Dragon.

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Another New Writer

Please help me welcome Bfoot to the site. Bfoot is  an amazing poet! Follow the link to read Darkness then let Bfoot know what you think of the poem by leaving a comment. You can also find the poem under Your Writing on the right side of any page. All submissions are listed in alphabetical order.

I’m glad you found us Bfoot – I’m impressed!

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poetry, Share your work, Your writing

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A new writer on the site

Please help me welcome our newest writer, Lillyann E. Her first story on the site is called My Blanky. Follow the link or look for it under Your Writing. Leave her a comment to let her know what you think and help her feel welcome. I’m glad you’re here, Lillyann, and I hope you have fun!

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More of The Story

First ice. Now fire. Keep up with these elementals in the Blue Dragon’s ongoing story, The Story. Just click on the title and enjoy.

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A new story begins

Blue Dragon’s The Story features an Ice Elemental. Follow the link to read the first chapter and the beginning of chapter two.

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New additions

Read the latest installment of The Pokémon Story by the Purple Phoenix/Blue Dragon writing team then check out David’s plans for I Love to Write Day on November 15.

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A New Play (The First!)

All Write with Me now includes an ongoing play! The Sword of the Winds, written by The Purple Phoenix, already includes a Princess of Peace, a dragon and a wind-thrasher. There’s also plenty of trouble – a raid, a kidnapped queen, stolen royal treasury, and a lost sacred relic. All in the first scene! Be sure to come back often to read this play as it unfolds. Knowing The Purple Phoenix, it’s bound to excite you all the way through.

Follow the link to read it now. When you come back, you’ll find The Sword of the Winds under the Share your work tab. Also, be sure to let The Purple Phoenix know what you think of his play by leaving a comment in the “Leave a Reply” box at the end of his page. 

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New poetry

Read a poem about Hot Chocolate, submitted by Purple Phoenix.

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New Submission

Read how Allen C. feels about second grade here.

Sounds like you had a fun teacher, Allen. Thanks for sharing!

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Book Review

Read Allen C.’s review of the Angel Park All Stars Series here.

Thanks for sharing, Allen. It sounds like a great series.

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Another Milestone

The Purple Phoenix is on Chapter Nine of his continuing story, The Group. Lots of excitement, trouble, danger, adventure, mystery!

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Uh oh….

There’s danger approaching for one of the members of The Group. Follow the link to catch up on the Purple Phoenix’s ongoing story.

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Back from vacation

While I was gone, the Blue Dragon and the Purple Phoenix continued the adventures in The Pokeman Story. The Blue Dragon also started a new story, The Cave. Follow the links to read these stories or find them under “Share your work.”

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New historical fiction

Anonymous posted a historical story set in 1775, about a girl named Amelia. Using excellent details, similes and metaphors, this writer makes it easy to feel what Amelia is going through. This is my favorite one: “Father and William would stay at home with me, and the war would be like a pesky fly outside closed windows.” Follow the link to read the rest. Thanks for sharing, Anonymous.

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More great poetry

I’m so glad Kaden B. is sharing his poetry here. I really like the rhythm in Welcome to Spring and the message in Just Love Who They Are. Both poems are excellent examples of lyrical expression. Be sure to check them out!

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New submission

Check out Elizabeth B’s report, Terriers and Other Dogs. It’s a great example of an opening paragraph that not only relates to the intended readers, but also lets readers know what to expect from the report. Well done, Elizabeth.

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Welcome Elizabeth & Kaden

I’m happy to welcome two new writers to All Write with Me – Elizabeth B., 7th grade, and her brother Kaden B., age 10.

Elizabeth submitted Champions in Friendship, a great story about the value of friends, and Dolphins, an oral report filled with fascinating facts on these intelligent creatures.

Kaden submitted a well-written poem about changing weather, Rainbow.

Follow the links to read their submissions. Then feel free to welcome them to the site by leaving them a comment.

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Finding a new way to an old problem

What do you do if the characters in your story speak a different language than your readers? What do you do if that language is intermixed with your readers’ language? And what do you do if the foreign language doesn’t even really exist?

See The Purple Pheonix’s creative and efficient way of handling this situation in his newly revised Fantasy Novel.

Great solution, Purple Pheonix!

 

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